Success in marriage is inversely proportional to horoscope matching!
“My only son is in love with a girl. She is from the same community. All good background. But their horoscope is not matching. He is adamant about marrying her. So I am very much scared. Shri Ganesh Prabhu, a reader of your articles, suggested I talk to you. Please Udayji, advise me what to do?” a letter from Sadananda Bhatt from Mangalore.
“Bhattji, I have already written many articles about horoscope matching. You might want to read those articles”
“Shri Prabhu has forwarded those articles to me. You said Kundali matching is not mentioned in the Vedas or Upanishads or even in the Bhagavad-Gita. You also said ‘Kundali ‘ is not even a part of Vedic Jyotish which is the science of Astronomy… You also wrote that the original texts of Ramayana, Mahabharata, and Bhagavata Purana were free from such fallacies. The texts which are now available to us are interpolated…Yes, I read all those articles. But you know, we are deeply conditioned from childhood. So I am still confused.”
“You may follow your beliefs as long as it does not affect others. But here, others will also suffer from your beliefs. I made it clear that Kundali is not a science and has nothing to do with our Vedic wisdom. Today’s Jyotisha is influenced by Egyptian and Hellenistic astrology. Like many superstitions, invaders imbibed the horoscope matching around the 18th century in India, so that they can easily destroy Hinduism.”
“Yes, I read what you wrote: Kindali is against the principles of Sanatan Dharma and its core values and foundation.”
“Right, Kundali matching is a 916 superstition. If you study Sage Parashara and Rishi Jaimini, you will know it.”
“You mean to say there is no element of truth in horoscope matching…” he repeated.
“Bhattji, survey the neighborhood. Collect data on horoscope-matched marriages for the LAST TEN YEARS. I can assure you that 90% of those marriages would fall under two categories: either ‘unhappy’ or ‘divorced’. Horoscope matching is inversely proportional to success in marriage life – you can scientifically prove it too. Simple reason – you’re matching something unmatchable, using false assumptions and superstitions. Having said that, it is up to you to follow your beliefs. I just presented facts…”
“Hmm…Udayji, there should be something to cling to. What else we can depend upon in a marriage other than horoscope matching?”
“Earlier, I used to support traditional arranged marriage without Kundali. Later on, I delve more into science (genetics, biology, and life) and Hindu scriptures. I also gained a bit more wisdom from Yoga Nidra and life experience. I understood that Marriage should be a strictly personal choice. It should be the choice of the man and woman. Let them decide on the spouse. Then, depending upon family tradition, personal choice, or financial status, the couple and their parents can decide the type of ceremony – Vedic or tantric or whether it should be luxurious or simple, etc.”
“Udayji, I am really confused. What do our Dharma Shastras say about marriage?”
“Various dharma texts mention 8 different forms of marriages in the Hindu religion. which are Brahma, Daiva, Arsha, Prajapatya, Asura, Gandharva, Rakshasa, and Paishacha. There is NO Kundali-matching marriage anywhere. All marriage happens out of physical attraction then. That’s the law of nature too. A man meets a woman. Both are getting physically attracted to each other – that’s natural and scientific. They get married then. A successful happy married life is a by-product – it depends upon various other factors…”
“But we see marriages in the olden days survived much longer…Today the cases of divorces are much more”
“Such stories about ‘good-old’ days are misconception and blown out of proportion. We can’t say the spouse was happy, especially the wife. A spouse becomes a sacrificial goat. Today’s women realise that their ancestors are not slave women of outside Bharat Varsha, but strong and couragous Hindu women like Kali Devi, Arundhati, Sita, Kaikeyi, Amba, Kunti, Draupadi, Mandodari, Hidimbi, Rukmini or The Queen of Jhansi . They stood up against Adharma. That’s in their genes. Now they fight when the husband turns out to be a male chauvinistic pig. Hence divorces happen more. According to Hindu texts, the initial physical attraction would lead to a mutual devotion towards fag end, if they follow a Dharmic lifestyle. That’s how the couple become Pati Dev and Patni Devi. It’s mutual. If the husband doesn’t consider his wife as Devi, the latter has no responsibility to consider him as Dev. So, if the couple follows Dharmic life, you need not worry about divorce.
“Udayji I agree with your points, but what about if something happens after their marriage? How will I know my son will have a good life after marriage?”
“That’s not in your hand. You’re only worried about your son. His fiancee is someone’s daughter. Her father will also have more worries. Let the couple face harsh realities of life or enjoy their life. No one can predict it. So why would you worry too much?”
“But they are not matured enough to take such a big decision…”
“Yes, parents think “for” their children even after they get voting rights. Let children think ‘for’ themselves. I also used to do that mistake. Now I know. I always think about them, but I don’t think for them. The next generation is more intelligent than us. Their brain is more advanced. Let the boy and girl take the decision. They should enjoy or suffer the outcome of their decision. That’s how one learns life. Our role is limited to supporting characters in life.”
(From Udaylal Pai’s WhatsApp Broadcast List – articles/ blogs/ answers) (Message No: 251)
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