Chat with an ex-film star

Chat with an ex-film star: Fall from the sky! Life, that is

Some of you may have spent time in Singapore Changi Airport. All the three terminals are worth seeing experience. I have spent lot of hours in my life in that Airport. I have had vivid experience because of my habit of speaking to fellow passengers.

There is a vegetarian restaurant in the mezzanine floor- after a long hours in aircraft with alien dishes, I would go there for desi idly sambar, though not very tasty. Three years ago, I have seen a man in late fifties having a coffee there. His face, which looked little pale and down, was very very familiar. After some time, I recognized the face – he was a famous film star during my college time.

He had acted in Tamil, Kannada, Telugu and Malayalam movies and a contemporary of today’s top super stars in South Indian movies. (I am not mentioning his name for reasons obvious)

I have rushed near him and asked: “Sir, Are you Mr.X”

He gave me a blank look and said:”Unfortunately yes, you are right!”

I smiled and introduced myself.

“Oh, a journalist. A vulture who wants to dig story of a fallen star!!!”

“I am sorry Sir…I am not a film journalist. My area is techno-economy. I informed you about my profession, that’s all. I have been seeing your movies during my teen”

“Oh, a fan of ex-super-star”

“Wrong guess again, sorry. I am not your fan. I liked your movies and I do remember few scenes too…”

“Ok Ok…Now I am not in the field…I am gone….” Then he has shown some gestures that I didn’t understand.

“Sir, if you don’t want to talk, I shall leave. I have six more hours to board the connection flight to India…”

“Oh, same as mine…Ok…OK, let’s talk…What’ there? What do you want to know…?”

“How are you sir?”

“Not good…:”Curt answer.

After a while, I asked: “So, you left movie…”

“It is a long story Sir… I am very depressed man …and totally ruined”

“Oh, I am sorry to hear that. Didn’t you try to overcome that?”

“I tried everything I can, but of no use…Nobody can…it is fate…When bad times come nothing will work. Every bad thing will come together…Desitny…fate…my karma” he has run his thumb nail through his forehead.

“Sir, I feel there is a mix of free-will and destiny in all our life. We have freedom, but within a bandwidth limit…”

“Scrap….” he looked at me and nodded himself: “You look honest, may be a cheat in disguise, who knows? But let me tell you…You won’t understand. One day, people adore you….next day everything has gone… I am on almost the verge of suicide my friend, nothing is clicking…I am facing the bad, toughest time for the last few years….” he said. He really meant it. He looked sad and depressed. It’s all written in his face.

I felt empathy for him. “You said nothing worked for you…can you please tell me what all are the things you did?”

“I tried out all the usual methods to come out of depressive and anxious state- watched a lot of television, actively involved myself in sports, got away from it all with a vacation. Also, I tried some of the most common methods – stimulants – smoke drink and even drugs. All those things when we sail in a rough weather in life… Eventually, I found that none of these methods work. Because mind keeps working overtime and frustrating thoughts never cease…So I am on stronger drugs now”

“Oh, you mean medications?”

“Yes. Otherwise I would have been a dead man now. I take drugs and treatments for hypertension, cholesterol, panicky, anxiety neurosis and horror. I have diabetics too….

For further reading please check the book : TIDBITS: From The Life of Pai
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8 Responses

  1. A.S. Hariprasad says:

    Love to read your write ups in your blog. Thank you Sir.

  2. Lavanya says:

    Very nice article sir. This will definitely help lot of us and give a direction in life when we feel that there is no path in the life’s journey.

    “No one is good or bad”.
    Very true. Each one of us do not get to grow in the same kind of environment which will definitely have a strong impact on each one of our behavior and action. There is no point in comparing ourselves with anyone else when we know this fact.

  3. hastimalbarola says:

    nice and heart touching article.thanks it gives me direction to overcome inferiority complex by not comparing to any one because as you have said all persons are different and accept the situation .

  4. Amit Pandey says:

    Dear Sir
    Good interview. But one more interview with depressed middle man not rich person if possible.

  5. Pardip says:

    I loved the interview as it was enlightening and helpful for me and I’m sure many others!

  6. “yes -difficult, but not impossible. Sir, you were a start, fallen or risen, whatever, you still a star…be like a star…” I am sure this would have made him feel so better. Well thought Sir !!
    This article tells two important thing 1) Everybody will have some down time 2) Everybody will have a solution to the problem..but just have to change the way we think.

    My mom always said, your mind is like a train and thoughts are like passengers. So passenger has to get down at designated place otherwise they wont reach their destination. So its our responsibility to drop the thoughts which are useless for us. If we have the strength to do it.

    Thanks again Uday Sir.

  7. kieren says:

    Keep on working, great job!


    Colleen Dick
    Jul 25, 2012 at 03:52 am
    Hello, Thank you for this essay.
    [“I am no nothing…I am just a truth seeker…Whenever I get time like this, I don’t go sleep – instead, I talk to a person and share his/her experience for hours together. I like discussing various aspects of life and learn from others. I am seeing cosmic message in each and everything in this world…But without healthy disrespect to all existing methods and technique, concepts and notions, how can you learn? I need to experience as much as possible…”]
    I hope, Sir, that I find you in an airport one day. It would be a wonderful conversation.

    Neeru Malhotra
    Jul 13, 2012 at 07:48 pm
    Great… i see ur greatness in all this. Good to have ppl like u on this earth. And how satisfying it is to help othrs. its just great. Great going. God bless.

    Krishnadas Menon
    Jul 19, 2012 at 11:21 pm
    A wonderfully written article with lot of knowledge about true spirituality…As you rightly said, the solution to a problem comes to you intutively once you have accepted the problem and start meditating on it. To see it in a different perspective, all your problems happen due to unknown factors and spirituality is your ability to communicate with the unknown…Thank you…

    Tony Joseph
    Jul 14, 2012 at 12:48 pm
    I joined because somebody sent me a link of two articles: Why am I NOT a SINNER? and Why should a GOD be so INSECURE? – she wanted me to read and give a fitting reply to the author. But when I read his articles I was awe-stricken – it is uniquely good and well-written. Everything is based on facts and truths.
    I have read all articles written by this author. When I read “Am I a sinner” I thought it is against Christianity and got angry at the title. But when I finished reading, I can’t stop appreciating the author. Again, when I read his article: ” Is Vedic Astrology the world’s oldest con?” – I thought it is against Hinduism. The matter of the fact is the author is an independent, open-minded and goes by facts and truth only.
    This is a feel-good article. Everybody who is depressed, tensed or stressed for any reasons, should read this article twice.

    Vishnu Prasad
    Jul 13, 2012 at 12:36 pm
    🙂 Excellent Udayji. Fresh…fresh thoughts. No cliche. Unique and different. You see everything in a different, novel angle. I thought this is a lengthy blog. But I couldn’t take my eyes off, till I reached last. And I read it again. This is not just information. This is transformation.
    It has the feel good factor. Not attached to any ideology or religion. That makes the blog great!!!
    Thank you so much Sir.

    Prophet Brahmarishi
    Jul 14, 2012 at 11:53 pm
    UNIQUE I say My friend, is your approach, result oriented – of direct application value, indepth – the conversation revealed your deep insights and – a way apart from useful yet mostly academic blogs on ST. What about more for readers at ST ? Best Regards. Gurusharan.

    Arun Kumar Laha
    Jul 27, 2012 at 04:54 pm
    “The best-blog-writer’s award” should go to Dr Udaylal Pai.

    Anil Madan
    Jul 23, 2012 at 09:11 pm
    What an interestng conversation having repeat reading value ! thanks

    Rajiv Sahay
    Jul 27, 2012 at 05:56 pm
    It is a beautiful piece of writing sir. I only remember the famous words………………, “All things in life are temporary. If it is going well enjoy it, they will not last forever. If it is going wrong don’t worry, they can’t last long either.”
    Life is peculiar but the beauty of it is you can always start over again. It always gives you a chance. Who knows what appears to be the end, may actually be a new beginning.

    Sujatha Prabhu
    Jul 28, 2012 at 08:06 am
    I enjoyed reading this blog.. so simply written.. so full of wisdom, without preaching… i feel understanding and accepting our mind and thoughts is the first step towards being happy… thank you for sharing this…

    Sanghamitra Sau Sengupta
    Jul 28, 2012 at 09:53 am
    Thanks for the beautiful description of “how mind works” by means of a simple and easy communication.nice and scientific description of self and mind.Also nice meditation where one can observe…thoughts as clouds and self is the sky detached.Observer and observed …self is the observer and mind(collection of thoughts) being observed.Those thoughts not necessary being aware just make those thoughts”Let It Go” and those necessary “Let It Be”. Very True Acceptance with understanding of person,place,situation,problems are also solutions of hatred,crisis,problems.It is also divine power given to each human being.We have to only activate the power.Absolutely True that this materialistic world and spiritual world are interdependent.Thanks for the blog.Very Informative.Many facts to learn and discuss.

    Swati Arora
    Jul 29, 2012 at 04:08 pm
    Very nice blog.
    From my own experience what I feel in today’s world each and every person is facing some or the other problem in life whether he or she is a student,employee,employer,business man,housewife…etc etc…
    Everyone just want trust and acceptance in such kind of situations.In this case as well..the star was trusted and accepted and he felt lively again.
    We can just remember our own incidents when someone just gives a little push or we are trusted or accepted we feel better.So,Work on your thoughts at the same time trust your own self & others and accept yourself & others as wel.

    Prathima Shenoy
    Jul 30, 2012 at 06:13 pm
    Hare Krishna..nice blog…no mind …no thought..happiness or sadness is a state of mind…keep posting.

    Adarsh Nair
    Jul 30, 2012 at 06:27 pm
    What an amazing person you are Udaylal ji!Just a small chat and you changed someone’s life completely(and that too free of cost)!Thanks so much for sharing this wonderful conversation..just got glued to the screen..Just loved it!
    “Solution doesn’t depend upon problems, but on people,” damn true!
    And thanks a ton to the person who suggested this blog to me..can’t be any less grateful to you sir!

    Sureshkumar Puthiyedath
    Jul 30, 2012 at 07:22 pm
    Dear Sir,
    After reading this blog I feel like reading all other blogs mentioned above. And I will read them. You have not quoted anything from anywhere. So it is totally unbiased and not prejudiced. You handled him just as per the spirit lead you and it was spontaneous. No, no not that spirit I mean the spirit that the situation demanded. You only thought sincerely how to bring him back on track, so you got through. Hence if we sincerely expect something to work without any returns when you do something, it definitely works. So that sentence of yours saying “I don’t want anything from you including your respect” is the punch point that punched me off from my line of thinking. Now I realize this is the soul difference between you and me. As I am a material man I always think what I gain out of it. That is why it doesn’t work for me. A good lesson for people like me Sir. Thank you very much for sharing your experience. Sincerity with our conscience is the key to salvation, I conclude. It can not be simpler than that in my opinion.
    Sureshkumar Puthiyedath English Club Mala

    Shashi Dhar
    Jul 31, 2012 at 01:10 am
    To be honest, the type of phase this Actor friend of your’s was passing through, so many similar conversations have been experienced by myself too,some lose the very faith in themselves and some weak willed don’t even try to come out of their bad phases.True in every word as mentioned, so many mantras, so many yogic aasanas to chose from, 98% are misguided, & the resultant remains zero, i.e, back to square one again, because of lack of knowledge, proper guidance.In 2006, due to some major incident, lost almost every thing, could’t move without support, & from then on had been facing truly severe situations, But the inner self never lost faith & trust in The Absolute & self discipline in following regular Surya namaskar (12 postures) aasans, & regular chanting of mantras, & HIS blessings,the mind & body even after 6 yrs is full of life, helping those who are in need,without thinking about the fruits like 6yrs back.Am fully attached with the spiritual as well as materialistic world,that too as per my own wish n will. when mind & body is fully exhausted we just need to walk that extra mile, the golden era of awakening into thyself shall embrace you with that extra effort in the right direction & positive attitude.
    Being Enlightened has many meanings,besides the ultimate, knowing thyself being the first step towards awakening,knowing the unknown second & being one with the Absolute the last.

    Mahavir Nautiyal
    Jul 31, 2012 at 01:00 pm
    I appreciate the way the blog has been developed. There is a ring of authenticity about it though I am not sure whether it is a true account. The good points, in my view are:
    1. The author has not put on airs about himself. He almost seems apologetic about his knowledge and accepts recriminations from the film star humbly.
    2. The depression of the film star has been brought out vividly and his reactions have been reflected in consonance with his state of mind.
    3. The author persists in the dialogue despite being rebuffed, which shows that he has down played his ego.
    4. The advice given, particularly the ones in thick print, show mature and balanced views with good sprinkling of spiritual overtones.
    5. I also believe that prayers may or may not help, but sometimes the divine grace comes in a mysterious manner. The God does rarely come upfront to help but He does sometimes, in an act of mercy,send some intermediary ( the author in this case ) to help / show light or right path.

    Deepali Prabhu
    Jul 31, 2012 at 01:38 pm
    Nice read and very practical… a very honestly written piece. Your wisdom and practical knowledge is inspiring.

    Nand Kishor
    Aug 01, 2012 at 12:49 pm
    Though lengthy but very nice blog. It educate one to overcome from any problem of one’s life by (1) freeing oneself from beliefs and (2) by breaking one’s conditioning.

    Prasanna Venkatesha Murthy
    Aug 02, 2012 at 01:02 pm
    Sri Udaylal Pai pranams. Sir you are an excellent teacher.and counselor. Thanks for the good message through your writing.

    Veenaga Bhushan
    Aug 05, 2012 at 08:37 am
    Sparing few minutes to read the conversation take me to breaksome illutions. Learnsome type posting ideas to reach many. Thank you Uday, it is your day.

    Rishi Vasanth
    Aug 05, 2012 at 01:30 pm
    Very good blog , high insights , universal

    Vijay Kamat
    Aug 10, 2012 at 06:18 pm
    Dear Dr. Pai,
    A must read for everyone tackling life’s problems. We all think the solution is out there somewhere and look for support from “gurus” in various fields. Our mind looks for security. And why not? It is said that the purpose of the mind is to protect the existence of the “self” and it creates all the conditioning records with sole purpose of protecting the self. Somewhere along the line, it gets mixed up and identifies itself with the “self” and becomes self protective the “ego”.
    Dr. Pai you have explained very succinctly the effects of conditioning, whether thru family, peers, society,……, or even thru our genes. Can you share your thoughts about the de-conditioning process and your experience about it.
    Vijay Kamat

    Ramesh Shenoy
    Aug 11, 2012 at 06:43 pm
    Sir, Anybody reads this will become instantly happy. You have lot of blessings from GOD. Otherwise you cannot write this stuff
    You are breaking all popular misconceptions and showing us how to be happy and contended
    Thank you so much sir
    Anybody sad, depressed and upset should read this article.

    Sunita Gupta
    Aug 16, 2012 at 01:11 pm
    This is what is AMRIT –MANTHAN . apne ksheer sagar mein soye vishnu ji ko hi jagana hai –means brain in the cerebrospinal fluid which is milky white in color and making right use of the intellect of self we have to keep moving . never ever say no to your self in the circumstances when the life appears to be harsh –keep going is the great and grand moral of your writing.–thanx nd regards

    Tincy Mathew
    Jul 13, 2012 at 03:06 pm
    Inspiring and Beautiful. Just like your other articles, this one too is beautiful. Amazingly different. Your observations are good. And it is inspiring for normal people like me, who are confused with floodgate of spiritual articles and concepts.

    Nikhita Sattiraju
    Aug 11, 2012 at 11:51 pm
    Too good sir!!!!!but how can a man live both in world and Him….?

    Courtesy: (Please visit this link for more comments and discussion)

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