Infertility, pregnancy and childbirth

A call from Narendra Rao from Mysore made me extremely happy. “Narendra’s wife is pregnant!” I have announced aloud.

“Who is Narendra? You were not so excited when I was pregnant. What’s so special about his wife?” my wife asked. Your head would touch the sky with huge pride, when you realize that your ancestors were far more advanced than the modern scientists.

Narendra contacted me sometime in June (2013). He married in 1999. The couple is suffering from ‘Anapathya Dukha’ (Sorrow of childless). Medical tests say both are OK.
They have undergone various treatments (modern, traditional and alternative), visited temples and churches; done lot of rituals and poojas (offerings to god), followed astrologers and god men – in short, the couple has wasted lot of time, money and efforts. The entire family is upset. The couple does not even attend any social functions.

Narendra was seeking advice from all known people. He read some of my articles and thought that I may have some suggestions or ideas. I told him, I am just a writer and can’t help. Just as a courtesy, I asked: “When did you start treatment or first visited the doctor?”

“In 2006 December”

“Why so much delayed?”

“We thought of enjoying life for first 3-4 years!” he said.

This is a big problem with modern couples. According to our ancestors, the main purpose of marriage is procreation and pleasure is just a by-product.

When you say “I want to enjoy for 4 years”, it sends a wrong message to your psyche. Pregnancy, childbirth and kids are hurdles or roadblocks for enjoyment. Modern science would say nothing wrong in such thinking. But the sub-conscious plays a major role in hormone balance.

If you plan to conceive late, an early detection of infertility issue (if any) won’t be possible. The diagnosis will naturally be delayed. Sometimes it will be too late to rectify.
In today’s world, both men and women have increased rate of infertility issues thanks to fast food, chemically bathed agro-produce, poisonous preservatives in eatables etc. Don’t forget that most of the contraceptives have side-effects too.

“Please help me sir” he was pleading. My intuition told me that I should help him. We had a long chat then. Narendra is working in New Delhi as VP of a multi-national. His native place is Mysore. His wife is from Chikmagalur. They don’t have any serious fertility problem too.

My father’s eldest brother (who passed away before I born) was a “Ayurdeda Vaidya Kalanidhi” (traditional doctor). I remembered reading an old book (written in old lipi-script) in the family house (I think it was “Arogya Chandrika” or something like that). If you can address the following aspects, mostly the infertility issue (and physical or mental diseases too) will be solved on its own. “The changes in Kala (time), deśa (location; place), jati (social class), samskara (pure life) through sraddha (faith), sutkara-(regard) and krama (the right order) can affect your mind and body. And the Svabhava (nature), Samyoga (combination) and Samskara (processing) of food are very important for a healthy life.”

“Let’s try something from the ancient wisdom of our own ancestors. I don’t know if it will work – I cannot guarantee anything”

“No problem sir – I am ready to do anything – I know you share good things only…”

“In the past I was amused as to why our ancestors preferred to have a proposal from near place (that is, within a radius distance approximately -100kms) for a good marriage. The most important factors they considered were gotra, tradition and samskara. They never cared about money and other superstitions”

“Really? How is it related to us?”

“Can you avail at least 3 months leave and go back to Mysore or Chikmagalur – is it possible?”

“I can even resign the job to have a child. I have already lost nearly 14 years – three months won’t make big difference” he said.

“I cannot say anything for sure. Let’s try that’s all. This experiment doesn’t involve money spending. You have to go back to your native place. I shall chart out a schedule for you. Please follow it for 41 days.” And I did – daily routine, food (pure vegetarian), karma, do and don’ts, few mantras (sacred chants) etc based on our Dharma Sastra (Ancient Science). In fact, all our grand-parents knew this very well. I also asked him to distribute phova (flattened rice), kela (banana) and milk to kids on a weekly basis. He agreed to that.

I have added few more things that’s not mentioned in the sastras (These things were not relevant then) (1) Plant something every day, thus cultivate an organic farm on the terrace or inside the compound wall. (2)DO NOT USE any perfumes or cosmetics. (3) Light lamp together in the evening. He should apply sandal paste in the forehead and his wife should wear jasmine flowers (4)Approach the bed with intense love composed of desire and devotion together (5)Feed at least one living being a day – cow, dove, crow, elephant, whatever (6) Stop watching TV for 41 days. “I cannot give any reasons for these instructions…” I said.

“I have nothing to lose here. In fact, I am getting some positive vibes right now!” he said.

“Please call me after 41 days. Let me repeat – there is no guarantee at all. It is just an experiment.”

In fact I was more anxious than him, counting the days. I have earnestly prayed for him.

After 41 days he called: “Sir, I have no good news yet. But let me thank you from the bottom of my heart. We have never ever felt such serenity, happiness and peace in our life. I can feel the divine blessings…”

I didn’t expect any miracles. But I felt very much down. Did I do something wrong? Where did I go wrong?

Then, all of a sudden last week I received a call from Narendra – with good news that his wife is carrying. It was exciting news for me.

“Sir – our entire family is indebted to you. What do you want? What can I do for you?”
“I just need a promise from you…”

“Blind promise on whatever wish you make… Now tell me, what’s that?” he was very enthused.

“Please do not pamper your child. Remember this proverb: Spare the rod and spoil the kid. Make him/her understand all miseries and hardships in life. Stay blessed!” I said.