Is there a heaven?

A large section of Hindus believe in heaven. For them, heaven is a place where extremely beautiful damsels (known as ‘Apsaras’) perform dances for you.

But don’t expect the likes of Kareena Kapoor or Sunny Leone to perform item dances there. For, the Apsaras – Rambha, Urvashi, Menaka and Tillotama – do not know cinematic dances. They are well-versed only in classical dances.

So, if you prefer item dance, a Hindu heaven is not a suitable place for you.

If you are an alcoholic, well, a Hindu heaven is flooded with “Sura” (alcohol). Again, don’t except today’s branded ones or Indian-made foreign liquor (IMFL).

For females also there are lots of fun. There are handsome males (Gandharvas). They could be your six-pack muscle Gigolos.

Girls, if you need modern chunks who show the brand name of the innerwear outside the buttocks popping out of the extremely low waist pants, then Hindu heaven is not a place for you. For, Gandharvas wear only dhotis in Pancha Kachcham or Vrindavan style or Sovale!

Semitic heavens are mostly for men. Some of those heavens promise 72 virgin girls to serve each man. They are like robots created only for the purpose of fulfilling men’s desire. The deal doesn’t end there. Those girls will still be intact virgins even next day morning!

But there is no much scope for a female in those heavens.

The heaven description doesn’t say anything about females getting 72 virgin boys. At the best a female would get entry only if she lives her earthy life as per whims and fancies of men. What a gender bias!
Heaven and hell came into being during the time of Puranic stories in Indian sub-continent and later in the Holy books in all other religions. Billions of people might have reached the heaven by now.

Millions of crusaders might have migrated to heaven by great deeds like Holy Cross War. Millions who waged Jihadi War against Kafirs might also be in the heaven. Those who participated in the wars of certain Hindu Kings may also have gone to heaven.

There were few thousand religions; hence there should be few thousand heavens up above the sky.
Going by elementary math, there should be trillions in the heaven! Wow! Can’t imagine such a huge populous place above the sky! I wonder what measures are taken for population control there?

Is it a planet? Nobody knows. It cannot be found by astronomers and physicists. Because, it can be seen only when you are dead. And dead man doesn’t come back and describe his experiences! (Please do not ask stupid questions like if a dead man has eyes or power of vision.) Don’t say that there is no oxygen above the sky. What does petty science know? Everything is in Holy books. The heavenly Gods will get angry at you if you ask any logical question. And what makes you think that God needs oxygen to breath? They are living up above the sky without air!

During my pre-degree course (today’s plus one and two), my good friend Abdul Gafoor used to tell me: “Uday, you should believe in Allah and follow the path of Islam. Only a good Muslim would reach heaven.”

(Excerpts from MANTRAS and RITUALS: THE LOGIC OF HINDU SCIENCE. For further reading: https://www.amazon.in/dp/B093Z2M52M ) You may visit Amazon site of your respective country and search “B093Z2M52M”

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By
Udaylal Pai
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