PROBLEMS ARE MANDATORY; WORRYING IS OPTIONAL
Will he be successful?
All of us know the answer: “No”
All of you would say: “He is not going to take bath at all. Doesn’t he know waves won’t stop? He is a fool.”
It is very easy to see other’s foolishness. But when it comes to us, we won’t see our foolishness.
This is what I told my friend when we talked about his marriage. He wants to get married. He is already 36. He has many problems, he says – family, social, official, health, neighbors, relatives…quite a lot of problems. Sometimes he feels like committing suicide – because there seems no end or solutions to his problems in life.
He is leading a miserable life. So he is suppressing his need for marriage.
“How can I marry Sir? Without peace of mind, how can I? It’s my destiny sir. Please can you help me solving my problems? I want to settle down everything and lead a peaceful married life…” (As if marriage would bring in peace!)
That’s when I told him about the man in the beach. I told him an incident with a management guru. This guru appeared to be pious, calm, peaceful and composed. One day I met him in a business class hotel. He was there for his one-day program on “How to avoid stress and cope up with situations”
He was totally upset and tensed. I asked him why. He said: “What to say yaar? Only few seats are sold for tomorrow’s program. I don’t know what to do?”
“Relax guro. You can find solution for this…” I said.
“What solution yaar? I already paid for the hall and publicity…If people don’t turn up, I would be in a great soup…” he was behaving like he is going to have an panic attack!
Problems, problems everywhere. Not a single solution for the problems!
“Yes, yes, that’s my problem…there is no solution at all…” my friend (who is about to get marry to find peace in life) said.
“You are wrong. Every problem comes with a clear solution. If you are becoming part of the problem and giving energy to it, how can you become part of solution?”
“I am giving energy to problems?”
“When you keep on worrying about your problems, you are giving energy to it. Let the problem exists. It is like waves in the ocean…”
Before me completing it, he said: “You don’t know Uday sir. You have not faced such problems…”
I laughed out loud: “You think I have not faced any problems in my life? You are wrong. I have had faced much more problems than that you can ever imagine. I had lived a life in stress and tension…I still have problems…”
“You are a blessed man…God will listen to your prayers…”
“I don’t pray to god to solve my problems. It is not god’s duty to find solutions to the problems that we create” I said.
“I would rather tell the problem: See Mr.Problem, I have god with me, so don’t threaten me.”
A smile came to his tensed face.
“But seriously sir, how did you solve it?”
“Let’s welcome the problems. It is like waves. It won’t stop. It is foolish to think that a day will come without having problems. When one problem is solved, another will pop up. ‘Lived happily ever-after’ is just a phrase that appears in bed-time stories. You are a bigger fool to wait problems to cease. It won’t”
Almost 99 percent of the problems have solution. We, with our limited (conditioned mind) sometimes won’t be able to find a solution. So we need to talk to our elders – our parents, elderly relatives, teachers, friends or to any of your well-wishers. Don’t be so egoistic to think that I can find solution on my own. Sometimes, solution will be ridiculously simple, but we can’t or won’t see it, I told him.
When I talked to him, I understood that all his problems are manifestation of his ego, conditioned mind, perception and attitude. He wants to make changes in others, where as the simple solution was that he should change. Mostly, we can not change a given situation, but we can change our attitude towards it.
“I can guarantee you. You will have problems till you die. It is not worth wasting our life to think about problems. It’s better to acknowledge the problems that we have and start living with problem. You can declare peace with the problem and live happily. If you think that peace would come only after solving the problem, you are like that man in the beach who is waiting for waves to stop,” I said.
Start loving problems. Live with problems. And live as a trouble shooter!
Problems in life are mandatory. But worrying about it is optional.
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