INSECURITY – WASTE OF TIME AND ABSENCE OF AWARENESS
He was concerned as I had not registered my name with the state government’s employment exchange…A government job was considered as the biggest boon in life then…I was the only student in my batch who didn’t go for registration.
I met him recently after so many years – he is now a senior gazetted officer in the local government administration. Re-union with old buddies always gives immense pleasure. He welcomed me whole heartedly. He expressed his genuine concern: “Uday, you are still a rolling stone….I had inquired about you and heard lot of conflicting reports on your jobs…”
“Yes Roy….I was not able to stick anywhere…”
“I am not saying a government job is great. It is so monotonous and honest people cannot make money too…But it gives you a real sense of security in life” Roy said.
“It depends, Roy, upon how do you define security of life”, I said
“Are you not feeling insecure, Uday?”
“If I have to feel insecure, I need to have a concept or definition of security. Only the insecure may strive for security…I don’t really understand what you mean by security…”
“Now, you have a family to take care… and you still don’t have a permanent job…I know you have declined fabulous job offers from abroad too…”
“How can I take up a job if I don’t love it? I am really happy with what I do as a freelancer. As long as my brain works and hand moves, I can make a contented living out of it…”
“Don’t you think it is you are ahankari (egoistic)? You will regret this – you could have easily scored IAS during those times”
“Roy, you indirectly feel superior when compared to millions who do not have a permanent job. This image of superiority makes you feel that I have ahankara. Yes, I could have joined any stable media or elsewhere and reached to a top position – but that was not my idea of life and still not.”
“What will you do if an unfortunate event of you falls sick or bed-ridden occur?”
“It can happen to anybody, Roy. What would you do if it happens to you? The pain and sufferings are the same for both of us – irrespective of the jobs that we do. Do you think anything – money or relationships -will help you then? We cannot predict what can happen to whom – so what’s the point in living a life with fantasized fear for the future? I am ready to work till my brain and hands work, after that, I do not know. And I don’t want to worry about something that I do not know”
“You were a job-hopper worked in more than 15 media firms in a short span of 25 years, that’s what Vishwesh (another friend of ours) told me! Had you at least stuck to one field in journalism, you would have established and excelled in that field…I know your talent!”
“Roy, I don’t want to rest in my own laurel. I do not want to get established in any field. The more you go up, the fall is more painful. The wealthier are the most insecure…”I told him: “Roy, my understanding of life is that it is all about struggling. That’s what our Sri Rama and your Jesus Christ taught us. So I am trying the best I can, within the bandwidth limit of capacity that I have. This struggle gives me immense happiness. If I stop struggling, I do not know what else I would do”
“A rolling stone gathers no moss…” he warned.
“Such a stone will always remain free, clean and unadorned” I replied.
“You are still the same nuts…People always want to get established themselves in a career and you are doing just the opposite…”
“So that I can experience more – If there is no struggle and hardship, what is there in life to be amused about? I am so blessed to have such struggles. Lord Maha Vishnu says: “Sukha (happiness) is my prasad (grace). Dukha (sorrow) is Mahaprasad’…”
“You can’t eat philosophy when you are hungry. You have to earn money for your family. Or they will starve. When you don’t have money, nobody is going to help you…” Roy said. I know that’s a statement of fact in today’s society. But to lead a happy life, you need the basic and essential things in life, not luxury. I explained my point to Roy – the existence has provided me all essential basic amenities in life like shelter, food and transportation. Should I be greedier?
“Roy, I am contented with what I have. Why should we accumulate wealth for kids? Let them work hard or perish. Do you want to see lazy, superficial, depressed, perverted morons with inherited (freely got) wealth, who do not understand value of anything? Do you think that you can always protect your children with all your money?”I said. I told him story of cocoon and butterfly.
“But we are made to follow this way of life…” he said.
“The market force created a life style that thrives on fear and insecurity. It makes you believe that unessential things are most important in life. This force has made us unhappy, confused, miserable, aching and frightened…They defined the security based upon sale-ability their products, services and market-coined life style. A superficial world is thus built. This world appears as a reality. Our ancient forefathers called it “Maya”. Why should you seek security in such a perishable world?”
Open your eyes. The essential security is provided by the existence itself. For instance, the cosmic or nature force (God, divine energy or Brahman, whatever) has stored your food as mother’s breast milk, even before you are born. The nature or GOD is so caring and meticulous. Still you are feeling insecure! What a paradox? If you can experience the presence of that existence
© Uday Lal Pai. Please contact the author for re-posting or publishing at firstname.lastname@example.org